WHAT IS A HUMANIST WEDDING?
Oh hello there!
You might have landed here because you’ve already decided you want a humanist wedding and you want to find out more.
Maybe you’re researching what kind of wedding you want to have.
You might be one of the many people who can’t find a registrar for your wedding date and you’re looking at the other options.
Whatever reason you found yourself here - you are very welcome. This blog post will explain what a humanist wedding is, why they’re so awesome and why you might consider this for your own ceremony!
So, what is a humanist wedding?
A humanist wedding is a non-religious ceremony which is open, inclusive and totally crafted just for you.
It is a ceremony free from the restraints of tradition, but one that can include things which are really meaningful to you. The ceremony usually focuses on you as a couple (and/or family if this is what you want), expressing your values and what is important to you, both as unique individuals, and as a couple. Humanist weddings and civil partnerships are ceremonies that are free from religion but not free from culture – meaning you can honour your roots, your culture, what makes you uniquely you, within a ceremony that’s open and welcoming to all.
Where can I have a humanist wedding ceremony?
A humanist wedding ceremony can take place whenever, and wherever you want! One of the joys of a humanist wedding is that it can be held anywhere.
What does a humanist wedding ceremony look like?
Your ceremony will be created & led by a humanist celebrant. There are no set lines or rules, and a good celebrant will craft your wedding script from scratch, meaning it is totally personal to you.
You can, of course, follow a traditional layout, or you can take whatever elements of ceremony you feel drawn to and your celebrant can use these as the bones of the script.
You can tweak traditions and things you might have seen before to suit you, your relationship and family.
Let’s take walking down the aisle as an example. First off - you can both have an entrance if you want to. You can be accompanied by whomever you wish. This can be one or more parents, a significant friend, all of your close friends or your dog. You can even enter together if that feels right for you!
The only rule is there are no rules! While this may sound overwhelming, your celebrant will be supporting you every step of the way.
What is the difference between a humanist wedding and a civil ceremony?
Civil ceremonies are led by a registrar, usually in a registry office or at a licensed venue. Civil weddings need to have a roof, which is why a lot of venues will have a random gazebo or similar set up.
Civil ceremonies are restrained by rules about length of ceremony, content and may offer some option to include your own content but this will be quite limited. The script will usually be a set script which the registrar will have used over and over again.
A humanist ceremony will be created just for you, no re-used content and you can totally personalise your ceremony. Your celebrant will get to know you and write your one off ceremony script.
With a civil wedding you do not get to choose your registrar. You turn up on the day for your chosen slot, meet your registrar then. Go through a few formalities (checking your name, date of birth) and go straight into your ceremony. There are some amazing registrars who will really engage with couples, but you may end up with a short, sharp ceremony carried out by a stranger.
A humanist wedding or civil partnership is written just for you, by someone you have chosen. The ceremony will engage everyone present, and there are no limits.
Is a humanist wedding legal?
This depends where you live. Humanist weddings are legally recognised in Scotland, Northern Ireland & Jersey, and soon will be in Wales.
At the moment they’re not legally recognised in England. However, this doesn’t need to put you off. You can arrange a simple statutory marriage or civil partnership registration at any registry office for as little as £57. You can do this before or after your humanist ceremony and it’s usually done and dusted in less than 15 mins. Most couples see this as the registration of their marriage/ civil partnership, the paper work. The wedding ceremony is the important part: making your commitments to each other, witnessed by those people who are important to you. The registration is the legal formality.
Humanists UK continue to lobby the UK government to change legislation. Change is on the way in Wales and we hope will follow suit in England before too long.
Do I have to be a humanist to have a humanist wedding?
The short answer is no!
Everyone is welcome. Many couples find they identify with the non-religious humanist worldview: living a life informed by science, compassion and making the most of this one life. However, you don’t need to have even heard of humanists UK before to have a humanist ceremony.
What usually happens at a humanist wedding?
The beauty of a humanist wedding ceremony or civil partnership is that you can be totally creative and work with your celebrant to create the perfect ceremony for you. This might include:
Common things that you may see in a humanist wedding ceremony are:
Introductions, welcomes, an explanation of what to expect.
Readings or poems – as many or as few as you wish.
The couple’s story – how they met, their hopes and wishes for the future.
What marriage means to this couple.
The exchange of vows or promises.
A meaningful ritual or symbolic act (e.g unit candle, ring warming, hand fasting).
Pronouncement
Closing words
How much does a humanist wedding ceremony cost?
This really varies depending where you live, the experience of the celebrant and demand in your area. Your celebrant will invest many hours with you, and crafting your script so in some areas they may be more than a registrar - but this again varies on where you live.
A humanist ceremony can vary from £500-£1,500. This can be similar to the cost of getting a registrar to travel to a registered building.
For my costing see ‘FAQ’
How long is a humanist wedding ceremony?
This depends on you, your plans and your celebrant. On average it can be 20 mins to about an hour.
Why should I have a humanist wedding?
By choosing to have a humanist wedding you gain:
A one-off, totally individual ceremony led by a celebrant who’s taken the time to get to know you as a couple.
The chance to have your wedding anywhere you want!
An inclusive, open and welcoming atmosphere. Humanist wedding celebrants should be open minded and seek to make everyone feel welcome and valued.
A celebrant who has undergone extensive ceremony specific training.
A celebrant with public liability insurance.
A meaningful ceremony that you and your guests will remember.
Where can I find out more about humanist weddings?
Check out my other blog posts (to come!), the Humanists UK website or, get in touch!
